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Preschool, The Big Day

Well, the big day has arrived. Son or daughter is about to spend his or her first day at preschool. Is your child nervous or fearful? Well, that's natural. Here are some suggestions about how to make that first time a little less worrisome.

Research, research, research. Parents who want to do the best for themselves and their child (and that includes nearly everyone) will want to do lots of homework long before the child does any.

Finding out about quality preschools - which are good, which are to be avoided - is, of course, basic. Recommendations remain one of the best sources, and are usually easy to obtain since most preschools are relatively close to home or work and often used by others in the area.

Montessori (when they practice genuine Montessori methods) remain one of the best organizations around. But there are some, unfortunately, where the resemblance ends with hanging up the sign. Be sure to meet the teachers personally and ask probing questions that include hypothetical scenarios.

The 'big day' can be softened by making an effort for it not to be the first day the child has been away. Many children, along with the parents, will experience separation anxiety when being parted from a parent and placed in an unfamiliar environment. Others see it as an adventure. Children, like adults, are individuals with a wide range of responses.

Make the transition easier by making it gradual.

Spend some time away from the child while a trusted individual cares for him or her. Expand the time from a few minutes to an hour, to a few hours. Work up to it slowly. During the parents absence, have the caretaker practice some elementary 'lessons' with the child.

Then, move the action outside the home - to the neighbor's house, or elsewhere unfamiliar. The first few times the new environment should include the parent, then with parent and caretaker (varying the time spent with both), then caretaker alone.

Set aside some time during the day to give the child formal 'lessons' that are a mixture of exploration and verbal or visual learning. The length of time will vary, of course, depending on the age and personality of the child, but should be extended gradually from a few minutes per day to an hour or more.

Most children are naturally curious, but one will express it differently from another. Assist that natural curiosity by relating the new material to the child's individual context. This can spring from a shared sight viewed from the living room window or a movie or any of dozens of other experiences. Emphasis on exploring phenomena the child can see, touch and manipulate personally will go a long way toward feeding that young mind.

When possible, trade off the individual caretaker, switching genders if possible. Gradually exposing your child to new people in a familiar environment where they feel secure will help that first day seem like nothing new.

Of course, how to get the parent to overcome his or her 'first day jitters' is a completely separate topic...