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Old Fashioned Ways are Good to Introduce in the
Parenting Game
Nowadays, just as back when we were babies, parenting is a
challenging and an ever-evolving job. Back when we were young,
pediatricians, educators and psychologists put out opinions and
findings of research that were meant to help and guide parents
through the parenting years. Parenting and educational advice
is still around and the emphasis on new findings and different
ways of parenting are still given by the same professions.
New parenting styles involve positive discipline, calm and
asserted parenting, no corporal punishment, happiest baby or
toddler on the block and so much more. Within all these new
theories on how to best raise and parent your children, you
might wonder, did our parents do their job wrong? Did they not
know how to parent and are old fashioned ways of parenting no
good? On the contrary, you are a great personality, you are
successful in life and your parents are most likely very proud
of you. So there is nothing wrong with the way your parents
have raised you. It actually is good to introduce old fashioned
ways of parenting into the parenting game.
New findings for parenting are advice and guidelines for
parents, things that can be included into your parenting to
improve and are not the only things that might work for your
personal parenting style. Parenting styles are individual, just
as individual as the child that is raised. There is not one
solution for all children, but rather a great variety. And for
some parents it works very well to parent their child the new
way, while for others old fashioned is the solution.
Old fashioned does absolutely not mean to get out your yard
stick or belt to punish your child, a child should never be
abused or punished in any way that can harm the child. Old
fashioned parenting can be based on any of the following
principles.
In old-fashioned parenting, parents always consider the
family’s situation before they consider the children’s
situation when making a decision. Nowadays parents pay solely
attention to what children need and forget the family in the
equation.
Discipline means communication and then consequences or
punishment (if necessary). But before you hand out
consequences, make sure you communicate instructions and
expectations to your children in a way that they will
understand. Just saying to your child “it is time to clean up
your room now” is not the same as telling them to pick up their
toys now. It is important to signal to children that parents
are in charge and that children have to listen to their
parents. Obedience is a word that is sometimes used in this
context, but should not be mistaken with its negative
definition.
Something else that our children have lost through new
parenting style is respect for others. New parenting styles are
so much centered and based on self-esteem and self-confidence
that they never learn to respect other, older and wiser people.
Often time’s, high self-esteem in children means low
self-control since they are used to get what they want to be
able to achieve whatever they want. Instilling in our children
a respect for others might be one of the biggest
accomplishments in parenting.
Lastly there are manners and obligations. Talking to our
teenagers, I doubt that they know what the words manners or
obligations really mean. Teaching children to say please and
thank you, to keep their word, to say bless you, to speak only
with an empty mouth and more may just seem superficial to some,
but it can make the world a better place and a better place is
what we want for our children.
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