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Effective Discipline Techniques for the
Stressed Parent
It is only natural to feel as though you have more to deal with
than you can handle. This is often the case when no matter what
tactics you use your child just won’t seem to listen.
The type of discipline you use on a child depends upon the age
and personality of that child. Some children will respond
better to gentle-ness and positive reinforcement while other
children will be more apt to respect you when you apply the
threat of negative consequences.
No matter what discipline style you use; try to remember the
following tips:
It is better not to try to discipline your child while you are
overly-stressed out, irritable, or feeling angry. You are more
likely to say or do the wrong thing if you do not take time to
cool down and assess the situation before acting.
This may be hard to do when a situation warrants your immediate
attention, but it can help you from making mistakes you will
regret. At the very least, taking a few deep breaths and/or
counting to ten will help you calm down enough to think
rationally.
Make sure you withhold consequences from a misbehaving child,
but not your love. For instance, you may restrict your child
from using the phone, watching television, or playing video
games.
However, it is not wise to send the child to bed without
supper, refuse to hug the child, or tell the child you do not
love him or her. Doing so will send the child that your love is
conditional, which can damage the child.
If you make a mistake in trying to correct your child own up to
it as soon as possible. For instance, perhaps you had made the
mistake of accusing a child of a wrong the child did not
commit.
This is an honest mistake, as you may or may not have been
misinformed regarding a particular situation. Nevertheless, it
would be great of you to tell your child you are sorry you
doubted him/her. It doing so, you will teach your child about
another aspect of love-forgiveness.
Aside from the tips mentioned above, you may have other things
to consider. For instance, perhaps you find yourself becoming
more short-tempered than usually lately. If so, it could be for
any number of reasons.
One of the most common reasons a parent is overly irritable or
even angry at times is he or she is overworked. If this is the
case, you may need to find ways to cut back on your
responsibilities. Also, you may just need more of a break from
your child once in awhile.
It is perfectly “normal” to need time away from your child.
Perhaps you need to remember what it is to have fun with other
adults, and it may be time to hire a qualified sitter and plan
an evening out.
Reducing the stress in your life will help you become more
effective in disciplining your child. If this helps the
situation, then you will be able to strengthen the relationship
between you and your children. Furthermore, you will be more
likely to gain their respect.
In the event you are at wits end and have tried everything to
get your child to behave and have not succeeded, further
intervention may be necessary. For example, many parents have
brought their child to see a therapist and have found out that
the child was born with some time of disability or mental
impairment.
One of the most common behavioral disorders is Attention
Deficit Disorder (ADD). This is one that can be corrected with
alternative discipline measures and/or medication.
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