|
Knowing When it is Time to Ask for Help
Many individuals enter the work force and make their way individually, instilling in the individual a sense of
personal pride and work ethic. Some of these individuals approach parenthood the same way, and view asking for help
as something just as detrimental in the home as it is in the workplace. This is a very dangerous way to view the
family.
When a couple comes together in marriage, or when an individual decides to take on the role as a parent, the
environment should be one that is vastly different from the work place. Sure, we all want our children to grow up
and be well-conditioned adults. As such, we want to succeed in our role as a parent. But the truth is, raising a
family is much different than the business world, and parents need to be able to ask for help when they need it.
Identifying when a parent should keep trying and when they need to ask for assistance can be tricky – so here are
some clues to help parents identify when they may need to ask for help!
1 – When your child or children stop listening to you for an extended period of time: While many parents hit
a stage where there children will not listen or do not listen, this should not occur too often or for an extremely
lengthy period of time. Most children do not listen when they are in their terrible twos or when they become
teenagers and attempt to test the boundaries of their parents and rebel in order to create a sense of independence
and identity in their lives. However, for children to completely not listen to parents for an extended period of
time can be a very big problem, beyond the typical child experiences. At this point in time, it may be necessary to
ask for help.
2 – In a time of emergency: While all parents would like to believe that they are strong enough to
accomplish anything, they will need help sometimes. One time that parents may need to ask for help is if there is a
problem with one child and not with another. Whether it is a health issue or something else, there will be times
that one child needs ‘special attention’. In order to help the other child to still feel important, it may be
necessary for the parent to ask for help in order to keep a sense of balance with the children. While parents are
not/should not be in the practice of picking favorites, there are going to be times where one child needs more
attention. In order to help the other child, a parent can ask for help from family members or spouses to allow the
other child to still feel valued and important.
3 – If a parent is having personal problems: While parents may try to hide their personal problems from
their children (and in many cases this is good for the children so that they do not become accustomed to trauma and
dysfunction), there are times when parents need to acknowledge that they have a problem that they need to fix and
they may need personal time to do that. In these instances, they need to be comfortable asking for help for the
sake of their children.
Parents are individuals and different people are going to have different thresholds of tolerance when it comes to
these different topics and situations. The important thing for parents is to recognize their own thresholds and
when they are unable to handle things alone. Children, for their part, will learn that it is sometimes necessary to
seek help.
|